Do These Doggie Boots Make My Butt Look Big?

They say these boots are made for walkin’…

Or not… I quickly realized after tightening the first doggie boot.  He froze.  He didn’t think he would ever walk again but he kept a brave face.  He ignores the Greyhound making fun of him.  Cool as a cucumber, he pretends to practice his “stand stay”  buying ample time to solve his dilemma.

I didn’t know he could carry a tune, but as I walked away, I thought I heard him humming  “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor.

If your dog likes to wipe his feet on your guests, doggie boots are the perfect solution to keep “four on the floor”.   If he likes to borrow things from counter tops; ta-da, doggie boots.  If he likes to run out the front door or through the gate; let’s hear it for doggie boots.  He figures the door or gate will be closed by the time he would actually reach them.  Dog doesn’t like the cage much?  Heck, you could probably be gone all day and find him still standing on the kitchen rug.   How about biting?  Sure, why not?  Just stay out of his stretchable radius.  Who needs basic obedience when you have doggie boots?  You’ll know where your dog is at all times.  Sigh…I wish it was that easy…

Sounds like a pretty cool concept but not too practical for the long-term.  However, once they realize they can actually walk with their little doggie ankle weights intact, try slipping a sock over the boots and you can have an instant doggie Swiffer machine. Give those puppies a job, I always say!

After a few minutes, the humming stops but he was still frozen and pouting.  I; however, required further entertainment soooooooo… I put a second boot on him.

You see, this way he forgets all about the first boot!  However, for me to do so, he would actually have to put some weight onto the first foot for balance.  He finally cooperates by balancing on the toes of his left foot with no bend in the boot just like a ballerina.  This was getting more interesting by the minute.

The Case of the Missing Feet

Soon it was dinner time for “He Who Never Misses a Meal”.   The Princess Hound (also know as Her Hein Ass…) finishes her food and walks over to his bowl.  Surprisingly, her bold maneuver fails to get his attention as he’s still glued to the rug just a few feet away. I am now ready to hand him a magnifying glass so he and Nancy Drew can solve “The Case of the Missing Feet”.

I put a leash on him, gave a heel command and he literally “high steps it” along the “celebrity red carpet” right over to the food bowl.  This evening, his designer is Muttluks.

ABOVE:  Lookin’ pretty hot in his new duds. * Muttluks offer a self tightening (and reflective) strap to provide a secure fit and safety.  (Author’s note-Boot model was embarrassed by a big zit on his chin, so he declined having his face in the picture…)

Back to the story…

He sniffs the food from a distance and decides one cannot enjoy a meal without their feet. However; after about 5 seconds, the thought of food was so overpowering he figures his feet are within workable range and stomps over to the bowl.  So close and yet so far as his legs don’t bend for mouth to meet the bowl.  Totally disgusted, he marches away from the food bowl, as if auditioning for the part of a toy soldier in the Nutcracker Suite.

The “March of the Toy Soldiers” quickly turns into the “Hokey Pokey“.    Mostly the “shake it all about” part…

So where does the “better butt” come into play?

As we head down the driveway for an experimental walk, his happy feet have calmed down but his usual gait is now something between a strut and a prance. Major muscle groups are engaged in a very exaggerated tighten and release motion.  He decides the best way to handle these boots is to prance like a Lipizzaner Stallion.  This is fantastic because the cold, Midwest weather forces us to cut the walks short this time of year, but at this rate and the way he’s “workin’ it”,  for every block he walks, it’s like we did 3 or 4.

These boots should be called Doggie Shapeshifters!

Thanks to the clever folks at ReeBark, Fido’s flabby fanny will be a thing of the past.  No more embarrassing “chubby dog” food bags around the house.  Now your dog can tone that tush by simply walking.  He or she will have the tiniest heiny in the neighborhood and can join the other shifters as they strut their stuff around town.

Your dog will thank you for the gift of a better butt!

Little Muffy can now imagine a life without her dreaded thunder thighs.  Bubba Jr. will have that six-pack in plenty of time for the summer months.  No more belly fat for FiFi.  Doggie Summer Fat Farm is just a distant memory.  The rewards are endless.

I finally know the secret of teaching a dog to dance for over 3 minutes on their hind legs.  I’ll bet Carrie wore boots on her front feet during rehearsals.

“Butt”, seriously, folks…

The most important step when fitting the boots for the first time is to have a helper.  No, not to help with the boots.  You’re on your own there but you will need someone to be ready with a camera or video recorder.  You can thank me at a later date for this bit of advice.

Next, slip one on and tighten to the best of your ability and hook up the leash and proceed to walk.   If your dog knows the heel command, use it!  The command will override the distraction of the boots.

Most importantly – do not laugh at them…   😉

Walk them around indoors and continue outside with enthusiastic praise..  Initially, they will most likely practice their Hokey Pokey skills and you might feel a sharp kick now and then when they “put that right foot out” but don’t take it personally.  It’s important to know you have installed the boot properly. Otherwise,  mid-walk you will be chasing the boots down the street.  Now, add a second boot.

Today was our 3rd day with the new boots. He could care less as long as he gets to go for a walk.  All four boots stayed on today compared to yesterday where I had to chase flying boots about six times.   Actually caught 2 before they hit the ground!

If you have any doubt as to using boots, especially in areas with snow where sidewalks and streets have been salted,  just look at the bottom your own boots after the walk and then check your dog’s feet.  They are going to probably look pretty rough so walk them in snow as much as you can during the walk and before you bring them indoors. Dry their feet and use a salve specifically designed for dogs.  Many salves work well during both the winter and summer months.

“The Case of the Missing Feet” was really too easy for him to solve.  I’m up for a challenge.  It’s only January but never too early to start thinking about summer.   I can’t wait to see his face light up when he sees his new little doggie flip flops, complete with a separator for every toe…

I have a feeling it’s going to be a loooooooooooooong winter…

Always pick up after your pets!

*Muttluks-“Proudly designed and made in Canada since 1994.  Muttluks provide superior performance and “Pawsitive Relief” for your canine companion.  Available in 8 sizes and two models: Fleece Lined and All Weather.”

Dog Notes, Inc.

This entry was posted in Dancing with dogs, Dog Obedience, Dog Training, Dog Training Tips, Dog Walking, Free dog training tips, funny dog stories, Responsible dog ownership, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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