It’s been a looooooooooooooong winter…Just exactly WHEN did the house go to the dogs?

This is a picture of what I came home to the other day.  It was too cold to play outside so they invited their friends over without asking my permission.

What the heck!  I was only gone for 15 minutes.  If only they moved that fast when I call them in from the yard!

They didn’t even realize I was standing there until one of them looked up and said “Oops…busted”.   Even then, there were just a couple of quick glances my way and then back to the game.  The nerve!   They didn’t even try to distract me with an Eddie Haskell greeting.  Leave it to Beaver “Hello, Mrs. Cleaver.  .  My, you’re looking wonderful this morning…Are those new shoes you’re wearing?”)

“Boys, what’s going on here?”  I demanded.   “Well, Mrs. Cleaver, we had an idea about a new home school study program. It involves various types of gambling and how it can prepare a young man for the future.  As you can see, we use different age groups and keep careful notes so as not to corrupt an innocent mind; such as young Theodore’s.  My journal is right here if you would like to see it and in theory…”       “That’s enough, Eddie.  Now!  All of you!  Clean up this mess!”

I had hoped it was simply a game of “Go Fish”

I wasn’t even close.  I’m not even sure if it’s legal for neighborhood dogs to be involved in a game of high steaks poker.  No, that is not a typo.  I really mean “steaks”.  The first hint was the fact that one of them forgot to close the door to the freezer.  The second hint, was the red stuff dripping off the table.  You could tell who was winning by the number of T-bones piled up in front of them.

Appears they ran out of frozen meat by the time I arrived because I noticed an open bag of rawhide chips sitting on the table.  Lumpy already ate his winning chips so he threw a piece of paper into the middle of the table with the word “kat” scribbled on it.

OK, that’s it!!  Game over.  I couldn’t believe he was going to use the cat as part of the kitty!!!

The toilet seat was up.

One of them had dragged toilet paper throughout the room.  I think they were getting a little buzz from the catnip candle burning in the background.  Another was trying to hide his bottle of O’Douls.  My camera catches Eddie in the process of attempting to boost his bone pile as he was slipping a card under the table to Lumpy.

Well, that does it.  I realize it’s winter and they’re bored but my mind is made up and the doggy door is now permanently closed.   No more surprises.  Who knows what they might dream up next.   Seriously…what if they attempt a doggie séance and as they try to connect with Rin Tin Tin they end up conjuring Cujo?  

Although, if the Rin Tin Tin thing worked…Hmmm…that could be interesting…my next post could be the best ever!  Let’s see…Rin Tin Tin…The Real Story…

Nah, with my luck he would like it here and never leave. Then he would probably invite some of his own friends over.  Soon, I would come home to the likes of Old Yeller, Big Red, Petey from The Little Rascals and Asta from The Thin Man movies.   That little Asta can be quite the prankster.  Yep, bad idea.   Then, there’s Toto and I really don’t think I will ever be in the mood for the likes of Ms. Gulch.

And, stay away from that darn Pet Semetary

If they started getting really good at this séance thing, they could become obsessed and I may not be able to stop them in time.  For example, if they substitute a milk bone instead of a piece of beef jerky as part of the process, (while they are trying to communicate with that little hottie Cocker Spaniel from Lady and the Tramp; they might end up with Cruella DeVille)  along with that hellhound from The Omen trailing right behind her.   Creepy… Or… maybe even one that will just drive me nuts such as Wile E. Coyote.

On the other hand, I could have a little fun myself.  On Rin Tin Tin day, all I would have to do was crawl into the room wearing a Cujo mask.    Nah, on second thought, it would probably backfire and I would end up being the one in charge of clean-up after I happened to startle some of them just a little too much…

I can only hope that some day their friends will be just like this little guy…Every home needs a Harvey…

It’s 10:30 am…Do you know where your dogs are?

The party begins practically the moment you walk out the door…

Regarding dog crates…in hopes of eventually eliminating the crate once the dog is housebroken, many will attempt some “trial runs”.  This involves leaving the dog out of the crate (totally unattended) while they leave the house for 10-15 minutes.    They return, and everything appears to be in order.  A few days later, they repeat the maneuver for the same period of time and this time the garbage can is knocked over and Bubba is eating  chicken bones.  Boo-Boo watched your car drive away and scratched up the woodwork and lost a nail in the process.  Lucky turns on the stove trying to get at the pizza box.   We will go into more detail in a future post but you must realize that for the most part, the logic behind this thought process just doesn’t work.  Most destruction occurs within the first 10-15 minutes of your departure.  It’s an art, not a science-depending upon the dog.  After tearing up the house, they need a nap.  They resume the destruction after they wake up.  Be responsible and use a crate to protect them from themselves.   More to follow…

Always pick up after your dogs!

Dog Notes, Inc.

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